First post ever...

I'm writing because, well, it's just what I feel like doing right now.
Some of you may find the following to contain humor, some of you may just find it quaint, and probably more of you will just think that I should go back to baking cookies, (if I can manage not to eat all of the dough. I know I'm not alone here so wipe that smirk off your face. Yes, you.) and generally being domestic.

Today's topic: "if it ain't broke, don't try and fix it."
In fact, take three steps back and slap yourself really hard to discourage any urge to touch it. If you still feel like tinkering, go wash some dishes or find some Play-dough.
This especially applies to computers. One might feel like "spring cleaning" on occasion, but unlike refrigerators, removing something unknown and designating it to the trash can actually cause problems. Oh, that weird file kept my screen from bloating out of proportion? Who knew? And it enabled the volume of my disc player to work? Huh. AND it costs money (and a lot of swear words) to replace?! It's sort of like fully taking apart a DVD player to clean it- you just shouldn't. Eew, what was that red sticky stuff?
Other things on the list not to tamper with include: the settings on your iPhone that you'd have to read the user guide to understand (where's that?), a universal remote, the two necklaces that became a Celtic knot when you wore them together, the baby jumper that was painstakingly assembled at 1am, the settings on your car radio, the GPS coordinates when you are on your way to an important Thing, and the bathroom scale (of course it's wrong- skinny is a state of mind).
Now this is all well and good, but there is a time when things beyond your control (or field of peripheral vision) lead to a toddler victoriously holding up your almost broken pair of glasses. Of course these are the cute and stylish ones that we really like and also happen to see better with. With any luck you still have your old pair that give you owl vision and you can fix the other pair to the best of your cheap ability using a hair clip.
Now try not to gasp every time there's a two-and-a-half-footer near your glasses. Since we're talking about the small people (small body, big thoughts.)  I'd like to note a couple of things. Firstly, your life as you know it isn't over the moment you have a baby as so many movies seem to purport. It's more of a gradual takeover that lulls you in with sleep-grins and first giggles and coos and diaper blow outs and Bambi eyes. After you are completely hooked, they become mobile and while you are busy recording every milestone moment, that's when it happens- emails are put off, calls declined in the name of nap time (ohmygod I'm going to kill my phone if it wakes her up!!!), and friends without poop consistency advice are outranked on speed dial. Once the small one in your life has succeeded in cropping all of your outside interests, you will find solace in the varied posts on Circleofmoms and Pinterest, yet still be available in the blink of an eye (or at the sound of a mandrake shriek from the next room).
Next, go find a good book to read. Not the child development books that you've poured over countless times (...screaming...192?....hmmm, not helpful.), I'm talking an actual book (not "Where's Spot?" or "There's a Zamp in my Lamp" however diverting those can be). Try to avoid "Even Cowgirls get the Blues" though unless you can stand reading about giant thumbs for twenty minutes. Sorry Tom Robbins, not your best in my opinion. I'm sure it will come in handy at some point, when I need a decoy book so that I can sit and enjoy another one in peace for about 7 minutes.
Reading is an activity that most parents unknowingly forfeit early on, when really (thinking back), they could still be doing it at 6 months. Hind sight is always 20/20.
Things that do get better- not wearing spit up frequently in public, being able to go to the bathroom alone...sometimes. Communication that begins to resemble more of that of a house-elf than a mandrake, more baths (belly button!!!), and later bedtimes for mommy and daddy.
What about mommy and daddy? Lol! Was there ever a hug that wasn't a sandwich? Indeed there was, but the non-sandwich hugs are now restricted to nap times and either late night or early morning. Yuck, not those hugs! Mind your own business silly! I'm just talking about normal hugs that can also be performed in public places. The other hugs lead to more mandrakes and well, one's good for now ;)
Knowing what I know about mandrake sleep patterns it's about time for me to sign off so as not to have to perform difficult tasks such as reciting "Spot goes to the Library" and diaper changing in a complete stupor when I get up in the morning.
Love and drooly kisses to all,

~Momrit