Have you ever tried to sit down with a good book and just enjoy reading for a while? I'm sure you have. Most people are able to. Some people may have to accommodate a cat kneading the pages, or a dog nudging their arm until the book falls down, but either of these cases is easily remedied. Simply walk to the door, open it, wait a few seconds, watch as your furry friend exits (presumably to go build some character), close the door, settle back on the couch (or wherever) and continue to read.
Many of you may have also nestled down in your favorite reading nook (or the corner of your closet) to enjoy not sharing a book. Inevitably you will be found either by the carrying soprano notes of the under-three-footer, or by the toddler herself, at which point you can kiss your book and any shred of focus goodbye. The she-toddler may first settle into your lap lovingly and expect to be shown the non-existent pictures in your book. Once it becomes apparent that your book is useless due to lack of pictures, you may find your book unceremoniously ripped from your hands and thrown across the room. At this time, you may be greeted by the bittersweet waft of excrement from a full diaper, or by an expertly administered swat on the face. Glasses askew, you now run along to find a book of real interest- such as the battered copy of Goodnight Gorilla or the ever entertaining Touch and Feel Farm.
After that it's snack time, so don't even think about going back to your secluded (or so you thought) corner. Count your lucky stars that your secret M&Ms are still secret.
Snack time will mostly be spent decorating hair with various foods, but in the event that you manage to keep it clean you will still need to draw a bath for your spawn. Do not think that because the wee one is having fun splish-splashing in the tub that you can sit on the toilet seat and check your email on your phone. This will result in the bath becoming immediately boring and a swift request that you either get in or help dear little one get out. "If you aren't looking at me drink the bathwater, why do I even bother to sit in here? Honestly."
To end the day with a bang, let loose the naked sprite to prance throughout the house in joyous mirth and look on as the antics become wild. Now that you are watching, dear sweet angel would not think of piddling on the floor or any such abuse of the natural state. You feel a sense of pride and wonder at your offspring as you marvel at how long it's been since the last potty break and how she's still holding it. Right around then the phone rings and you are momentarily distracted. There is a tangible change in the atmosphere and the little house nymph alights on tippie-toes to an out of sight area and pees. You will most likely come to notice after you have been off of the phone for a couple of minutes and start wondering why it's quiet. Ah, yes the little aquatic enthusiast is rehearsing Riverdance in her self made puddle.
Just wait till Piddling Pixie goes to highscool- you'll have plenty of ammo for embarrassing her in front of her friends!
Investing in audiobooks,
~Momrit
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