Questions...

If you are the parent of a toddler, there may be some important questions that you have been asking yourself lately- though if you dig deep enough you may find that you already know the answers to them:

Where are all of the refrigerator magnets? 
Under the fridge of course, fulfilling their actual intended function of attracting dust bunnies.

Do farts have mommies? It is possible to categorize farts into mommies and babies? And if so, do they miss each other? Does the baby fart cry for its mommy fart? 
Yes. The answer is yes.

Why do I seem to be in the kitchen all the time?
Because your toddler keeps asking for noodles- breakfast lunch and dinner, but you are supposed to rotate types of noodles.
“No, not these noodles.”
"But these are the ones I made."
 “I can’t have these noodles. It's dangerous”
"..."

Do I really sound like that?
Yes. You absolutely do. Your mini play-back recorder has a flawless representation of you. Scary?

Will she ever stop peeing in the bed?
Yes.  
Will it be soon?
No.

I’m starting to forget the times I actually took quiet hot relaxing baths- was that really real? 
Yes. Hold on to that happy place for as long as you can. It will come again someday, and until then, the hope shall get you through the tepid bubble-wrought splash-fests of today.

Are my eardrums still intact?
For now. That awaits to be seen for sure in about 50 years….

Will I ever get more than 6 inches of bed to sleep on? 
Yes, but for now, it’s payback time. Remember you used to be the bed hog.

 Why does my toddler have more pairs of shoes than I do?
Some things in life are just not fair…

When she 'wakes up' after we've been laying in bed for 45 minutes and says, "Get up, I'm hungry." Do I have to?
Yes. Duty calls, and you are a bad mommy if you ignore it. Or at least that's how I justify getting up to make noodles that will not be eaten but used as lotion on tiny arms at 11:00 at night.
At least I tried.



Happy noodling,

~Momrit